Nick's Words of Doom!

Attention Saint Louis! Jake needs a loving home. Jake is 7...

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 14:53:28 -0400

Attention Saint Louis! Jake needs a loving home. Jake is 7 mnths. old and is a true angel. He is great with people, kids, other dogs and cats. Jake needs a great home. Please share this link with your friends and family. Got Questions? Feel free to contact Nick Bankhead, he’s a really cool guy who will be happy to answer your queries…314.304.1344. Thanks for sharing this link!

Is it weird that I had a dream about you last night?

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 11:09:48 -0400

No (What did I look like since you’ve never met me? Ha. What was it about?) What’s going on in NC?

Extreme Blogging.

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 13:51:00 -0400

I have been riding a skateboard since I was in 2^nd grade. Skateboarding introduced me to surfing, which led me to snowboarding. I still get out once a week and enjoy the sound a piece of wood, with four wheels on it, makes as I zip up and down sheets of plywood shaped like a “U.” Boarding, whether it is on cement, water or snow, will forever be a part of my life. So, with that typed, I have a problem with the exploitation of the snow/surf/skate culture. Remember, I am in advertising…I know what ever is “trendy” is open for marketing season. The issue, in my opinion, lies in the word “Extreme.” That damn word seems to float everywhere now due to the public’s love for a skateboarder named after a bird that eats small rodents and a ginger kid that resembles the character “Rocky” from the movie Mask (made in 1984 starring a young Eric Stoltz and a 64 year old Cher).

I’m speaking of Tony Hawk and Shaun White, they are America’s extreme lil’ darlin’s. It was enough for brands to suit up and dive into a culture that used to be considered “unusual” and made up of odd-balls. I now laugh when I see the X-Games on ESPN; brought to you by T-Mobile, Mountain Dew and American Express. When I was younger (shut up, I know what I just said), the companies I just mentioned would have cringed if their brand manager would have said “Hey, let’s affiliate ourselves with skateboarding!” ESPN, back in the day, used to laugh at the “boarding culture,” now they dub it the “X” games and make millions of dollars off a lifestyle they are so detached from (I’m sure some of the ESPN execs, when they were in high school, were guilty of bullying kids that were skateboarders; now these same guys want to have oral relations with Rob Dyrdek).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad these kids can now make millions off sponsors that, in the past, wouldn’t give them the time of day. Some brands embrace the word “Xtreme” and will forever be associated with the “boarding” culture (i.e. Red Bull, Mountain Dew, and Monster). I think its cute Nike and Gatorade also want a piece of the “X” action. If it is marketed right, could other sports become “Extreme?”

Announcer: “Extreme Basket Weaving, coming up on ESPN 12. Brought to you by Mountain Dew and A.G. Edwards-‘Get your fiscal monetary report done by one of our mad,crazy brokers!’”

No more “Extreme” deodorant, “Extreme” soda or “Extreme” nachos. No more crazy yelling guy who looks like he has been on an eight day meth bender; all the while trying to sell me a energy drink as he yells the word “EXTREME!” If I didn’t celebrate this culture, I would think surf/skate/snow boarders were hyper kids that had to take medicine so they wouldn’t pee their pants.

Final points: 1^st-The skate/surf/snow culture is a temporary fad among the people, companies and brands that are currently exploiting it now. The true souls haven’t left, nor will they. 2^nd Shaun White does look like that dude from Mask.

Foursquare Blunders.

Thu, 05 Aug 2010 15:14:00 -0400

Well, maybe not blunders per say, but I imagine there are some places you would want to forgo your “check-in.”

Some people do not know what Foursquare is, so I’ll let wiki tell you:

Foursquare is a web and mobile application that allows registered users to connect with friends and update their location. Points are awarded for “checking in” at venues. Users can choose to have their check-ins posted on their accounts on Twitter, Facebook or both. If a user has checked-in to a venue on more days (meaning only one check-in per day qualifies for calculating mayorship) than anyone else in the past 60 days, the check-ins are valid under Foursquare’s time and distance protocols, and they have a profile photo, they will be crowned “Mayor” of that venue, until someone else earns the title by checking in more times than the previous mayor.

Basically, you go somewhere (i.e. Like a “effing” Chuck E. Cheese), take out your “smart” phone and find your Foursquare application. Now, you just check-in, maybe you add a cute lil’ status like: “I’m at the effing Chuck E. Cheese with my adopted Canadian baby.” At this instant all your friends and followers on Facebook and Twitter know you are at Chuck E. Cheese’s…with your adopted Canadian baby. Most people are becoming more aware of this somewhat new social media darling. I thought I would share five places where you might not want to “check-in.”

Adult Bookstore: Your friends and family don’t really need to know that you enjoyed a visit to the “View-n-Spew.”

Jail: When you are incarcerated you probably won’t have access to your phone. No one is gonna give you props if you are the “mayor” of the county lock-up.

Strip Club: Like the adult bookstore, some jokesters might “check-in” for a larf, but be weary of the “one that needs not to know.” Social media is a lightning bolt when it comes to gossip. How did Nana find out you were at “The Boob Ranch?”

Ed Hardy Factory Outlet: Really? You should be ashamed.

An S&M Furry Tavern: Hey, if you like to drink, get spanked and dress up like a cute little panda bear; that’s totally cool. Freedom baby! But don’t be surprised if you start getting some weird looks at your next high school reunion.

There. Those are just five places mind you. I could have included many more. I didn’t mention a Crochet Superstore.

Bye, I need to pick up my baby lamb outfit.

Oh know. The 3-D hysteria continues.

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:46:11 -0400

I understand the hype. “Dude, digital 3-D is cool, it felt like when he released the ‘Kraken’ he released it on me man.” Yeah, 3-D is getting em’ back in the theatres, which is great for Hollywood. I know that the movie industry was kind of bummed out recently due to ticket sales being lame, probably due to the economy…and some of the product coming out of “Tinsel Town” (Speed Racer anyone?)

So, the 3-D craze continues.

I was recently at a 3-D movie enjoying the previews (who doesn’t like the previews?), when I noticed some dancing on the screen. “Kick Ass, they are remaking the movie ‘Breakin’!” I yelled with excitement. I got some funny looks from some of the youths, surely wondering what the hell “Breakin’” was.

I soon found out it was not the movie I was hoping for. This movie turned out to be a new and modern dance movie entitled “Step Up.” I need to add that this movie is also in 3-D. This is the synopsis of the movie:

A tight-knit group of New York City street dancers, including Luke and Natalie, team up with NYU freshman Moose, and find themselves pitted against the world’s best hip hop dancers in a high-stakes showdown that will change their lives forever.

OMG! Plus, I bet Luke and Natalie’s love lasts forever. Anyway, I saw this preview and was giggling internally; though it was kind of gnarly. It felt like I was getting a virtual lap dance from some suck-ass actors. Creepy. I know.

I have not seen the movie, nor will I. I did not expect this writing to become a movie review. I just had to find an excuse to talk about the greatest dance movie ever made. “Breakin’.”

Sorry Footloose fans.

Have a laugh. Enjoy the movie trailer. The acting is spot on, plus…it’s an original story line (today is opposite day).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89TLbK6o-og

do you like being naked?

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 13:31:53 -0400

First. Naked is such a lame word. I prefer nude. It sounds so much more euro/hipster-ish.

Second. I knew my first question would pertain to nudity and/or genitalia. That’s cool. I’m a euro/hipster-ish kinda guy; I am so down for these questions.

Do I like to be nude? Let’s make this a “yes” or “no” question. Dude. I hate it when I read answers that go on for days and days in advice columns or forums, when a simple “yes” or “no” would have sufficed. For example:

Dear Whoever-

My partner likes to urinate on me. I am not into that kink, should I get out of the relationship?

Love,

Penelope.

Dear Penelope,

Yes.

Love,

Whoever

See, it is that simple. Some folks would have written a book when answering that question.”Do you love the person?” “Do you really hate getting peed on, or do you hate it just a little?” Blah. Blah. Blah.

So Katposy,

Yes.

Love,

NWOD!

The Fushigi Experience

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 16:15:00 -0400

The Fushigi Experience:

It was late Saturday night and I was getting home from a night out with friends who, like me, enjoy malted water and adult liquorish flavored liquid. I opened my door and was greeted by my faithful four-legged pals Squeekie and Leela. They were beckoning at me to let them outside, so I walked through the house and proceeded to let them run amuck in the backyard. While I watched them have a late night romp, I decided I would relax a bit and “take care of head.”

Later, the dogs ran up the deck to inform me they were done and needed water. And yes, at the time, I really thought the dogs ran up the steps and said “Nick, hook us up with some water kid!”

I filled the bowls and went to lie on the couch to scope what was on the television. It was late at night and honestly, I was just looking for pretty pictures or some fun “jamz” on the Latin music channels. Little did I know my life would be forever altered…for like a week. I saw an ad for:

The Fushigi Ball

This “new” toy, pronounced (Foo-she-gii) is supposed to be the “new” yo-yo, hula-hoop, hacky sack, devil sticks… ya’ know, one of those hippy toys that are played with at Widespread Panic or Phish shows. When I saw the commercial, it reminded me of a time when I had to go to a Renaissance Fair (Seriously, it was one time and they called my dog a “Steed,” it freaked me out too, so don’t ask). So at this Renaissance Fair, all these people dressed in wardrobe circa 1850, (when was the Renaissance again?) were playing with “magical toys to confuse your eyes.” Weird. One of these toys reminds me of The Fushigi Ball. When I watched the commercial on TV the other night, some of the master Fushigi Ballers in the ad looked liked the guys I saw dressed up from “ye ole” Renaissance Fair. These guys have the pony-tail that hasn’t been washed in a couple of weeks; they didn’t have time to shower because the Dungeons and Dragons tournament got a little too intense.

I need to share “The Fushigi Ball” commercial with everyone. The actual commercial would require a whole new posting unto itself. Take notes (the black guy wearing the shades sounds like he is describing a type of cannabis when he says “Fushigi”). I sure hope people read my blog, well besides Beiber fans. Enjoy. Laugh. Google Dungeon and Dragons.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myIR__htBgc

Nick.

Great Value

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 17:55:19 -0400

GREAT VALUE-

Just think on those two words for a hot minute.

Now, just think of what those words mean to the American consumer.

This is the house brand, or generic brand, at the entity known as Wal-Mart. I’ve never really been a Wal-Mart guy, nor do I enjoy going to Wal-Mart. I just find it easier to avoid Wal-Mart all together. But realistically, when you…say, go to visit relatives that live in small towns; Wal-Mart is all you got for your shopping needs (It’s hard to find athletic socks and potatoes at the local Sip-n-Gulp). This story isn’t about my disdain towards ol’ Wally, but rather the shock-n-awe I succumbed to while on a recent trip to a local Wal-Mart.

This was the scenario; I was visiting family in “small town” Missouri. My aunt yelled at me from across the kitchen that we needed some items from Wal-Mart. “Is my only choice Wal-Mart, what about that other grocery store?” I replied. My aunt informed me that the “other” store was closed due to the holiday weekend, and Wal-Mart would have all the items we needed for our 4th of July party. “Swell” I thought as I grabbed the keys and made my way to Wal-Mart. Now, if you have never been to a Wal-Mart in a small town then let me give you a quick analogy of what the experience is like: A Wal-Mart in a small town is like the mall to teen-agers. It’s where everybody goes to be seen, it’s the social Mecca of any small town.

I made my way through the aisles, grabbing every item I was told to obtain. I couldn’t help but notice the brand Great Value. I am in the advertising world, so I guess ads, brands and words stand out to me. The words “Great” and “Value” stood out more than usual. It’s a call to action to the consumer informing them that whatever they buy is going be great, and is going to be cheap. What shopper wouldn’t love that? I wonder what kind of research was used to test the brand “Great Value?” Maybe something like this: Focus Group walks in room and sits down. Moderator: “Hey there, do you all like the word ‘great?’” Focus Group: “Yes.” Moderator: “Do you all like the word ‘Value?’” Focus Group: “Yes.”

Success!

I didn’t purchase any of the “Great Value” items, though I saw several “Great Value” products in other shopper’s carts. The GV product has to be comparable to its more expensive brethren. And Great Value has every product you can imagine; everything from athletic socks to potatoes.

"That’s right kids…I’m blogging. I decided that there aren’t enough bloggers..."

Sat, 10 Jul 2010 20:20:26 -0400

“That’s right kids…I’m blogging. I decided that there aren’t enough bloggers out there, so I decided to be a pioneer. I only have one goal: To throw a crazy party in this blogosphere world.”

- Nick.